There’s no bigger rivalry in college than the one between the University of Florida and Florida State University. There’s no love lost between the graduates of these two school, and no better jokes than the ones that mock FSU. (And hey, let’s be honest, it’s not that hard.) So we compiled this hilarious list of FSU jokes that we’re sure will give a chuckle to every Florida Gator fan and grad out there.
21. What do tornados and FSU grads have in common? They both always end up in trailer parks.
20. What do UF and FSU students have in common? They all got in to FSU.
19. Why don’t they have Christmas at FSU? They can’t find a virgin and three wise men.
18. What do you say to a FSU football player dressed in a three-piece suit? “Will the defendant please rise.”
17. I keep setting my DVR to record The Biggest Loser. But it keeps recording FSU games instead.
16. A Gator fan and a Seminole fan are sitting in a bar watching the 11 o’clock news. They look up on the TV screen and see a guy standing on the ledge of the bridge.
“Bet ya 100 bucks he jumps,” says the Gator fan.
“You’re on,” says the Seminole fan.
Sure enough, the guy leaps off the bridge. The Seminole fan starts reaching for his wallet and the Gator fan laughs and says, “No man, I can’t take your money. I saw it already on the 6 o’clock news.”
The Seminole fans says, “So did I. I just didn’t think they guy would be stupid enough to jump again.”
15. What’s a good reason not to go to FSU? You already have a high school diploma.
14. What’s the difference between a litter of puppies and Florida State Seminoles fans? Eventually puppies grow up and stop whining.
13. It is a good thing Gatorade wasn’t created at Florida State… No one would buy Seminole Fluid.
12. Did you hear about the Florida State Seminoles fan who won a gold medal at the Olympics? He liked it so much that he decided to get it bronzed.
11. How many FSU students does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but he gets 4 credits for doing it.
10. What is the best thing to come out of Tallahassee? I-10.
9. Did you hear about the fire in the FSU library? They lost several thousand books. But the real tragedy is that half of them weren’t even colored in yet.
8. Why did Florida State University disband its water polo team? All the horses drowned.
7. Did you hear about the Florida State Seminoles fan who tried to blow up the opponents team bus? He burned his lip on the tailpipe.
6. How do you get an FSU grad off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
5. If you have a car containing a Florida State Seminoles wide receiver, a Florida State Seminoles linebacker, and a Florida State Seminoles defensive back, who is driving the car? A police officer.
4. Why don’t Seminoles fans use 911 in an emergency? Because they can’t find “eleven” on the phone dial.
3. How do you get a one armed Seminole out of a tree? Wave to him.
2. How do you get to Tallahassee? Go north until you smell it. And west until you step in it.
1. What did the FSU grad say to the UF grad? “You want fries with that?”